Photo of Michelle by Ivy and Stone Photography
So, I came across this article by Alex Matlock (thesinglewomanguide.com) and it resonated on so many levels for me. I wanted to share it with all of you, because I know you are also smart, strong, successful women!! Click here to read the full article.
Why Do So Many Smart, Strong, Successful and Independent Women Struggle With Their Love Lives?
Let’s dive into this….
"There’s no denying that today, in this modern and somewhat feminist era, there is an abundance of smart, successful and independent women. These women have taken control over their lives and have the power to do whatever they want in our society, something that wasn’t possible, not so many years ago.
However, as successful and independent as they are, many of these women have a very hard time succeeding in their love lives. This article will try to explain why this happens and offer possible solutions to these problems."
Ok, so I am feeling this. I get it, let’s keep going...
It’s A Man’s World
"The term independent woman is fairly recent which I think became more popular with TV shows such as Sex and the City and women’s magazines such as Cosmopolitan. The whole idea behind the successful independent woman is that she can do anything she wants (have any high-power job) and have no need for a man to take care of her."
Interesting, I am processing this as I am writing this very sentence.
"Today, everyone is equal. Women have the same rights as men and are able to do what they please. It’s understandable that women have a hard time working on a construction site but why is it so hard for them to succeed in fields like business/politics? This happens because these “systems” have been built on the male mind.
In order for women to become successful and independent and to have high power jobs in business and politics they need to become, at least in the way they think, men. As hard as this may seem, many women manage to achieve this goal."
Ugh, that is tough, but it is so true!
"Because these women have tried so hard to fit into these male dominated fields, they have essentially lost their feminine side. This is fantastic for their careers but devastating for their love lives. No man will ever want to marry another man; he wants to marry a woman that has the qualities of a woman. Even if these qualities didn’t mean much to the average guy, he could still not handle the fact that his girlfriend/wife is more successful than him or makes more money.
Unfortunately, this is the major love-life struggle that smart, successful and independent women face today."
I don’t like this reality, I want to be feminine AND strong, why isn’t that ok???
We are finally getting down to it now…keep reading
"As we speak, the feminist culture is having a profound impact on the male mind and we start to see men that “think” they want a strong, successful independent woman as their partners. However, these men are far from many and it’s going to take a few decades (if ever) until these qualities become the norm for selecting a female partner.
What can these women do in the meantime? I currently see only 3 possible solutions which I’m going to illustrate below:
1. Find a manlier man.
Like all women, strong, successful independent women (should) also aspire towards a strong, successful, intelligent man that can sweep them of their feet and “dominate” them in a relationship. However, because these women are already “strong and successful” the total number of these men decreases dramatically since such women no longer aspire at the guy that works in the office or the manager; they aspire much higher, towards the only men that can have more power over them.
However, this whole thing creates an incredibly difficult scenario as most of these men would rather date a feminine woman themselves plus, their high status makes them some of the most desirable guys out there. Sure, these women might think: “Well, wouldn’t he rather have a smart girl that can take care of herself?” Sometimes, that may be the case but remember, men are genetically designed to “take care of their women”. This is in their genes so they are more prone into going for women that they can take care of.
As difficult as the above solution may seem, if a woman succeeds in “landing” such a man, she will probably have a very fulfilling relationship.
2. Switch roles.
Another solution for succeeding in a potential relationship would imply that they should find a “partner” that would be willing to switch relationship roles. This means the woman becomes the provider and the man stays at home with the kids (Sex and the city – Miranda and Steve, Desperate Housewives – Lynnette and Tom). The problem with this model is that automatically, these women will have to settle for somewhat untypical men but, their ability to do so is what may bring them happiness.
3. Don’t care and Act feminine.
Here’s where real successful and independent women succeed in their love lives. It is here that, instead of seeing their “manly” mind as a drawback they use it to succeed.
With a task oriented approach also comes the fantastic ability to “not care”. Men have the power to not care about many things in life because they simply can’t handle thinking about 2 different things at the same time. Thus, if you’re a woman and have learned to think in this manner, you can stop caring about the type of guy you’re dating, you can stop caring that he isn’t really up to your potential and just act as a feminine woman around him.
You may have forgotten how to think like a woman but you’ve surely not forgotten how to act like one. The strong, successful and independent women that realize this point on their own are the ones that have fantastic and fulfilling relationships which turn into great family lives."
SO, THE BOTTOM LINE IS ??????
"Although many of the difficulties independent women face today can be blamed on biology, only they themselves can work towards improving the quality of their lives."
WOW….I am going to be processing this for a bit, I might have to do a follow-up video on ALL of the thoughts swimming around in my brain!!
Happy Friday my Loves!
I’ll be busy analyzing this one…